Friendship vs. Growing

There’s a saying that we can’t all play together forever—and it’s true. I’ve never really been one to keep a lot of friends around. I outgrow people, not because they’ve wronged me, but because I simply get tired of having too many people in my space. Maybe that sounds cold, but it’s just how I’ve always been. I don’t dwell much on friendship, and I tend to keep most people at arm’s length. As we grow, we naturally outgrow people. It doesn’t mean they hurt us or did something wrong—we just can’t be who we used to be with them. We no longer share the same experiences or connections we once did.

I had a close male friend—maybe even a best friend—at some point in secondary school. He was my person. We used to write letters to each other, and I’d pour out my heart, even about my relationship problems at the time. It was a beautiful friendship, one I truly believed would last. I remember crying all night and day when he left secondary school earlier than the rest of us—he’d gotten sick after exams, and that ended up being the last time I ever saw him. I would’ve done anything for us to stay close during school because, genuinely, he was my favourite person.

But what happens now? We barely communicate. Funny enough, we now attend the same university—I could literally see him anytime I wanted. But we’re not what we used to be. I drifted away, not out of anger or bitterness, but because I couldn’t see us having those same deep conversations anymore. We don’t talk—not because we fought, but because time and life happened. And honestly? I don’t even miss him. Life just... moved on.

That’s when it hit me: as we grow, we shed some skin. We let go of old friendships and pick up new ones. We evolve. And with that evolution comes change—change we can’t avoid, no matter how much we want to hold on. We can’t be the same person forever, and neither can the people around us.

And maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe that’s what growth looks like—learning to love the people who walk with us for a season, and learning to walk alone when the season ends. It doesn’t make the friendship any less meaningful. It just means it served its purpose.

Some people are chapters. Others are footnotes. And a few—maybe just a few—stay till the end. But either way, we keep writing. We keep turning the page. Because that’s what life does. It moves. And so do we.